Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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