I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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