this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
