I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize