what day is it and did you see me today?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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