If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
