my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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