Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
