I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
