Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
