why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
