what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize