Just fell off a train. Bad.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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