I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
