She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I looked at my own cervix.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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