If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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