Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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