North Korea, Best Korea!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My feet surprised me
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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