We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I still have a little drunk in my system
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
