Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
