We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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