Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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