Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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