I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
third nipple confirmed
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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