you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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