Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize