I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
