The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
