Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
