my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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