im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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