We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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