just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just googled if crying burns calories
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
