the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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