I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
