Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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