Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
