i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
