Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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