Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
