the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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