her vagine was all disorganized.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
