i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize