cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
