is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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