i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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