My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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