You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
