I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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