Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
