Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
