Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
