I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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