You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
