Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
