I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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