oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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