So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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