whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
