But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize