"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
