Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
